Respect.
I’ve seen a few movies about families coming together for
the holidays or other occasions that portray family members as eccentric,
difficult or just different, and then create a lot of conflict between them.
Screenplays often have conflict, otherwise it would be boring, so they say. I
really hope your family reunion doesn’t have the conflicts that these movies
often portray. Instead, think early about how to create a space for tolerance
and acceptance and respect.
A friend of mine once said to me that my Mom seemed to her
to be very accepting of diversity, loving each of her children for the unique
individuals they turned out to be as they became adults and matured (and we are
very different from one another). Perhaps that is where I got my strong convictions
of tolerance and the honoring of diversity; from my Mom.
My Mom also had a rule she insisted be followed: No talking about religion or politics
at the dinner table. Enjoy your food and let it be digested without upset. Good
advice in an election year, and with tensions over those seeking safety in
other countries for political and religious reasons.
What kind of atmosphere do you want to foster at your
reunion? Everyone has a story, likes and dislikes, a preferred way of dressing
and conducting themselves. Is your reunion gathering going to be accepting of a
gay person, a transgender person, adoptive children, adoptive children or
spouses of another race? People who have changed faiths? Add anything to this
list that traditionally your family would find controversial.
When people get into heated arguments, red, angry faces
blustering away at each other, the saying goes: take it outside. Now you don’t want any fistfights or
embarrassing altercations at your reunion, but the thought of taking it outside
gives pause to reflect on where and when disagreements could occur. A family
reunion is a time to reflect on family history, where people came from, and if
you design it right, where they’re going. That can’t be created in an
atmosphere of tension and arguing. So leave the heated discussions for some
other time.
If you choose to include some of the activities I have
covered in my blog these past couple of weeks, I think you will create a more
sharing and caring setting for everyone present. You no doubt have many great
ideas yourself, or the brain storming of a family reunion-planning group will
help develop the kind of activities that your unique family will embrace and
remember for years to come.
I will close today’s blog post with a thought from my Family Reunion Keepsake Book, the Family Reunion Idea Library
section: Be mindful that not
everyone will share the same customs as the family grows and develops. For
example, not everyone will share the same daily practices or religion. Respect and honor all present by giving
each family a turn to share their own way of giving thanks before each meal.
Such great advice during this election year! I wish some of my fb friends would also be respectful of political differences. :D
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Karen; too much intolerance on Facebook. Thanks for visiting. I'm so glad to know about your blog! I am visiting and enjoying it.
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